My kids have 529 accounts that need to be filled.
I am technically unemployed.
It is the season of giving - you know, like to others.
We really should be paying down our HELOC while interest rates are low.
I have no need for any form of high fashion given that I am in pajamas 90% of the time.
I pay almost $1000 a month in student loans for a career that I have all but abandoned.
And yet, somehow, this morning I justified to myself that it was acceptable to spend $312 on these:
And now, for the justifications:
They were on sale (40% off). When will I ever find such a bargain on Tory Burch shoes?
I take care of two kids all day every day, one of whom beats me up on a regular basis. I totally deserve this.
I am getting old, and if I don't start paying attention to what I wear I am on the slippery slope to mom jeans.
I actually have been earning money, totally out of the blue, for some recent freelance legal work. (Never mind that this money has now been allocated to a thousand different things that it can't possibly cover - upcoming vacation, Braden's preschool tuition, a year's worth of car payments, and now, unnecessarily expensive boots).
My husband doesn't get word of his holiday bonus until mid-January. Maybe it will be some crazy ridiculous number and we won't ever remember spending two weeks worth of groceries on boots.
And now, for the inner monologue:
I really want to get these boots.
I shouldn't get these boots.
But wouldn't it be nice to get these boots?
Okay, I think I'll get these boots.
I got the boots.
Oh shit. I paid a lot for these boots.
Oh well.
I'll enjoy these boots.
I LOVE these boots.
These boots will change my life and make me free and young and rich and all the things that I want to be!
Thank God I found these boots!
Posts
Insert "overpriced Nars blusher" for "Tory Burch boots" and you have my after Christmas shopping experience.
ReplyDeleteI really like your internal monologue, as I have been on that thought train many times in the last few years. But you know what I have discovered....that this is all small stuff and if the boots make you feel good, then go for it and don't think twice. Remember, guilt is only meant to help serve us in making future decisions. Regret and guilt serve no purpose in the present other than to make us miserable souls. I used to stand in children's clothing stores in turmoil over such seemingly simple decisions such as which adorable outfit I should purchase for my child, only to end up buying both and then lament over my regret. Ironically, my many hundred dollar visits to the psycho-analyst over the past few years has really helped put "purchasers guilt" into perspective for me. What is an extra dress my daughter doesn't really need, that extra day my husband booked off work, or a pair of boots when money earned, saved and spent really does not buy happiness anyway. I now choose to feel happy regardless. Happiness - and yes I know it's cliche - comes from within. And if a pair of new boots brings happiness even temporarily, that internal monologue has no right to crash the party.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy those nummy mummy boots, every mother deserves a pair (at least that is what I said to myself when I bought mine).
If your son's private school is anything like my school, fashionable shoes are part of the mom uniform.
ReplyDeleteCath and Janna, thank you so much for your commiseration! We all deserve some nice boots (or blusher!).
ReplyDeleteAnd @12:15, your comment made me laugh out loud. Braden's school is not like that, but he did go to a camp last summer that was very much a fashion show during pick up. I would show up in my flip flops, t-shirt, and bra-optional attire, and all the other moms were looking so good and stylish! Part of me thought it was ridiculous, the other part was strangely jealous... maybe that's secretly why I had to get these boots!