Your Turn - Sarah's Story

"Your Turn" is a series of posts where readers share their stories of parenthood, work, the struggle for a balance, or just life generally.  If you are interested in contributing a story, please email me at butidohavealawdegree@gmail.com, or click here.  

When I joined a large Washington, D.C. based law firm six years ago, I fully expected that Big Law firm life was incompatible with family, but I thought that I had plenty of time before I had to worry about it. After all, I was newly married, no kids, and a lot of ambition.  About two years into litigation practice, with a baby on the way, I knew that the time had come to take stock of my life, my career, and my priorities.  I came home only to shower, sleep, change clothes, and occasionally walk the dogs.  My husband took care of everything else from cleaning to bill paying to grocery shopping.  He was growing tired of our arrangement.  Our home was my hotel, restaurant, and dry cleaning service.  Convenient for me; painfully frustrating for my husband.

After a particularly grueling month of working around the clock late into my pregnancy with our first son, my husband gave me an ultimatum: do something about your job or this marriage/family is going to fall apart.  Bamm! Less than 2 years into my legal career and I was at the mom vs. career crossroads—job or family.  The next month I requested an alternative work schedule (AWS). 

My firm offers a part-time policy that allows attorneys to work a percentage of the full-time 1950 billable hour track.  In return, I received pro rata compensation and pro rata annual advancement.  For example, if I worked 70% AWS beginning in my third year, I received 70% of the salary of a 3^rd year associate and advanced to a 3.7 year associate at the end of year 3.  In my fourth year on AWS, I received 70% of a 3.7 year associate salary and advanced to a 4.4 year associate at the beginning of my 5^th year.  

Moving to AWS was a life-altering decision.  For starters, I stopped stressing about billable hours.  Before moving to AWS, I thought about billable hours ALL OF THE TIME - in the middle of the night, at family gatherings, on lazy Sunday afternoons - when all I wanted to do was relax.  After adopting AWS, I set my billing target low enough to be achievable by working 7 hours x 4 days a week.  Now I have just enough work to keep me fully billable, but not so much that I allow work to interfere with my family time.  I also work from home at least one day of week and take off most Fridays. Of course, I may work late into the evening, on a Friday, or a weekend every now and then, but I view that as a small inconvenience. 

Choosing a part-time schedule in a big law firm is not without its drawbacks.   First, some attorneys will not work with part-time associates.  Several of my “go-to” partners prior to going part-time will not call me back now that I am on a reduced schedule.  To them, I violated an unspoken rule and I can never be trusted again.  If not for the large number of partners in the firm, I would find myself without work and out on the street in a hurry.  Fortunately, our firm has enough good partners that are perfectly fine with my arrangement, and I have been fully billable for the past 3 years.   A growing number of partners do not care where you are in the world or what time you work, so long as the work is done.   However, when those sources for work dry up, it is a real challenge drumming up new work.  All things being equal, traditional partners who have never worked with a part-time associate would prefer to use another (often less expensive) associate who is in the office 5 days a week and available 24/7.  By comparison, I am only in the office 3 days a week and am often the parent who has to stay home when my child is home sick from preschool or the baby sitter cannot come to work.  And as a practical matter, I have fewer opportunities to run into important people in the elevator or smooze at happy hours. 

Second, my career track has slowed down significantly.  I am no longer viewed by many in the firm as a superstar associate on the rise to partner, but instead as a mom limping along on the inevitable path to salaried of-counsel.  True, my road to partner is longer and less certain than that of my full-time peers, but odds are that I will still be here while the “superstars” burn out and fade away to other law firms, companies, or government positions.   Do I care whether I make partner in 8 years, 10 years, 12 years, or never? No, I do not. But I would never forgive myself if my children grew up knowing that mommy was a lawyer and that’s about it, or if I let my marriage fail.  

In full disclosure, I have an amazing husband that works a normal 40-hour week work schedule, does our grocery shopping, packs our lunches every day, and is an equal partner in parenting our two young boys.  Credit where credit is due.  We also are in the financial position to hire a nanny four days a week for our infant and send our 3 year old to full day preschool 5 days a week.  I have it pretty darn easy compared to so many other women.  That being said, sometimes I wonder about job opportunities outside of big law.  But the reality is that it will be very hard to find a job that pays as well as this one, that gives me the flexibility to work from home, and that offers a 35 hour work week. 

As I write this, I am unclear of my own long-term career objectives.  Perhaps I will strive for partnership at my firm, or an of-counsel position, or maybe my future lies in another company, in the government, or another career entirely.  But I am certain that there is no other place that I would rather be in this phase of my life than in my current firm.  No doubt that I would have left my Big Law firm years ago without a part-time alternative work schedule option.  Moving to AWS saved my marriage and allows me to be the mom that I want to be to my children. I think that I am a better lawyer because of it, or at least a less stressed one.  I am that rare example of mom-lawyer-litigator who is actually happy in a Big Law firm.

This post was written by "Sarah."